Power Training

Power Training

Words of Faith 4-22-2021

Dr. Jeffrey D. Hoy © 2021

Jeff.Hoy@faithfellowshipweb.com

Faith Fellowship Church - Melbourne, FL

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Ephesians 6

[4] Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

       So, is the goal just not to exasperate your kid?  Is this whole parenting driven by the child’s behavior toward avoiding the fabled "melt-down" in a restaurant?  Not at all.  The goal here is actually very positive--training and instruction.

       The first directive of this passage is to fathers.  One might say: I am not a father.  Or one may point out that single mothers struggle to raise kids.  This text is actually for ALL of us so that we understand the critical importance of raising children and also the need for male involvement even in a family where the father is absent.  In situations where the father is absent, great effort should be made to connect with a safe and appropriate father or grandfather "figure" to bring guidance in addition to the training and instruction of the Lord.  This is critical.

       Is it really that important?  The importance of 'father' in raising children cannot be over-emphasized.  Here are a few facts.

       The National Center for Educational Statistics reported that when fathers are involved in their children's education, the kids were more likely to get As, enjoy school, and participate in extracurricular activities.  Another study concluded that kids with engaged fathers demonstrate a measurably greater ability to take the initiative and evidence self-control. 

       Children without the influence of a father have a higher rate of asthma, headaches, anxiety, depression, and behavioral problems.  Teenagers in absent father homes are at greater risk of alcohol, tobacco, illicit drug use, and suicide.  Adolescent girls in absent father homes are 3 times more likely to engage in sexual relations by the time they turn 15, and 5 times more likely to become a teen mother.

       So, finding a connection in the family or the Body of Christ to give "father" training and guidance is quite powerful.  But what does this mean?

       First, do not exasperate.  Do not cause children frustration or anger by unreasonable demands, petty rules, or favoritism.  Don’t tease, belittle, put down or bully.  These are things that cultivate an exasperated child who is angry, contentious, rebellious, willful, uncooperative, undisciplined and disrespectful.

      Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.  These are two very different words.

      Training means "nurture or tutorage," such as education and training.  This is ongoing.  Instruction is calling attention to dangers by mild rebuke or warning.  This is situational. Training actually includes the provision of physical needs and shelter-- along with discipline.  Instruction includes warning about specific dangers.

      Training is about the environment.  It is a father’s responsibility to foster an environment in which a child can grow and learn.  A father is responsible for providing love, laughter, and reassurance while building safety zones for questions, growth, and communication. 

      Instruction involves discipline and correction as a situational response. Instruction responds to the normal testing of boundaries.  It is through instruction that consequences are learned, and the parameters of behavior in life are discovered.

      Failure to train and instruct actually creates a wound of rejection that devalues a child terribly.  Failure to train and instruct says to a child: "I don't value you enough to nurture, guide, and protect you." 

     The Word of God teaches: "Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise, you will ruin their lives" (Prov 19:18 NLT).  "Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death" (Proverbs 19:18 NIV).

      So, what do we do?  We find our place in the family of faith and provide the training and instruction in the Lord that is needed.

      Father God, help the families in this confusing world.  Help the families of America.  Provide healthy guidance that is needed for children from both mothers and fathers.  Preserve the families that are under attack and nurture them to health.  Help me to see my role in my own family but also in the larger family of faith.  In Jesus’ Name.