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The Wonder and Peril of Raising Kids

Words of Faith Final

The Wonder and Peril of Raising Kids

Words of Faith 4-20-2021

Dr. Jeffrey D. Hoy © 2021

Jeff.Hoy@faithfellowshipweb.com

Faith Fellowship Church - Melbourne, FL

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Ephesians 6

[1] Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. [2] "Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise-- [3] "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."

 

        I have often called chapter 5 of Ephesians "WAMM - The Wonder and Mystery of Marriage."  If so, then the start of chapter 6 could be called WAPORK -- "The Wonder and Peril of Raising Kids."  You may not have kids, or your kids may be raised, or you may never plan to have kids. Regardless, there is an important part of family, church, and society that centers upon the raising of children.

      The word used here for children is interesting-- teknon is not the word for a baby or a young child.  This is not a directive exclusive to young children. So, whatever this obedience thing is about, it is not just for toddlers.  The verse speaks to a life of honoring the guidance of God that is provided through parents. 

      The word translated "obey" means literally "to hear under," "to listen attentively," "to heed a command," or "respect authority.  In this sense, it means to hearken and be obedient, but it is much deeper than that.  Obedience is not simply a blind response or reluctant conformity.  It is respectful attention that hears and learns under another.

      The phrase "in the Lord" does not mean that children are to obey parents only if their parents are believers.  Colossians 3:20 clearly points out that a child’s obedience to his parents is pleasing in the Lord’s sight. The reason for this is that it is right (dikaion)-- it is a proper course to follow in society.

      The Holy Spirit reminds us that all this is rooted in the fifth commandment given to Moses: "Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise-- "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."  The fifth commandment is of primary importance in learning the rest of the commands. 

      The Hebrew word for honor means to "make weighty"-- to consider with much gravity.  The opinion of your father and mother is weightier than others.  When one "dishonors" their father and mother, they treat them in a way that light or dismissive.

      The wisdom of Proverbs reinforces this.  Listen, my son, to your father's instruction, and do not forsake your mother's teaching (1:8).   My son, keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother's teaching (6:20).  Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old (23:22).

      So how do we get a kid to honor?  Honor is not so much demanded as developed.  While there is an aspect of honor that should not have to be "earned" from a child, this is still very much the case. When a child senses consistency and safety in the relationship with parents, they gravitate to that relationship with honor.  

      Listening attentively to children and to their questions cultivates an attitude of listening with honor later on.  Talking with rather than talking at a child builds an ongoing dialogue that can last through the overlap of generations.  A harsh environment that demands "honor" is unlikely to receive more than superficial actions as demanded. A heart that honors parents and honors God is cultivated in a child through safety and love. We will get to more on that.

       It is probably also important to note that in the time of Paul, homes were multi-generational.  Young children learned how to honor their father and mother by example--watching how their parents honored their father and mother.  The primary lesson we teach our children regarding how they will treat us in old age--is found in the example of how we treat our parents as they age.

       For now, it may be most important to observe in our own lives the way that we honor the parents given to us or the memory of our parents.

 

       Heavenly Father, I give thanks to You for the family You have given to me.  I thank You for the good and honorable things invested in me by my parents.  I also forgive the failures of my parents and look to You as my perfect Father.  Give me strength and wisdom to strengthen my own family and to build strength into the families around me. In Jesus' Name.