The Second Ingredient: Glue
The Second Ingredient: Glue
Words of Faith 4-15-2021
Dr. Jeffrey D. Hoy © 2021
Faith Fellowship Church - Melbourne, FL
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 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."
The first ingredient for a wedding is leaving. When a couple "leaves," they form a unique family unit with their own decision process. The second ingredient is often called "cleaving" or being united as husband and wife. The word "cleave" comes from the New American Standard translation, but the Greek word used here means literally to glue or adhere. The husband and wife leave their fathers and mothers and are glued to one another.
The Hebrew word used in Genesis 2 is even more interesting. It means to cling or adhere but also to catch by pursuit. It means to abide fast together but also to follow close or hard after. Cleaving means both to adhere to and pursue. The pursuit of one another does not stop on the wedding day. This is the day that pursuit is just getting started! Cleaving is a steadfast pursuit of knowing intimately this one other human more deeply than any other.
Cleaving is a mutual decision and an act of the will. But cleaving is also an act of grace whereby a third agent glues the two together. That third agent is the Lord. This cleaving or "wedding" is celebrated by the community with a ceremony and a feast. This is where a community declaration and acknowledgement are made that two people are now glued together.
Leaving and cleaving is the culmination of a process that begins with friendship leading to courtship, followed by betrothal or engagement, and finally the wedding and marriage. All this represents a gradual growth in knowledge, trust and intimacy that becomes sexual after marriage and continues to grow throughout a lifetime.
So cleaving is much more than the signing of a paper at the courthouse. Cleaving is a careful process of building trust and taking joy in knowing the corresponding partner.
Let's think about this gluing. Interestingly, when you glue two materials together, the instructions will often say that the materials must match each other and the surfaces must be clean. This is true in marriage. Gluing together requires two clean surfaces of matching materials. The correct adhesive is the Lord Himself by the presence of His Holy Spirit. Cleaving cannot be rushed any more than the gluing of a wood joint can be rushed.
Problems often occur if the materials are not carefully matched or surfaces are not clean, or not enough time is allowed. This sometimes happens when there is a disruption of the order. There can be a "false cleaving" when a couple embarks on a "trial marriage" through cohabitation or premarital sexual activity. This is like gluing a joint together but then pulling it apart prematurely to "check it."
Almost every modern movie seems to paint a worldly pattern that is backward. It is a fleshly pattern that begins with sex, proceeds to get to know someone, culminates in "love," finally adding marriage as an afterthought. This is backward, and the foundations of trust and respect are shattered by this pattern.
Father God, help me to understand the mystery of marriage and to do everything in my power to strengthen and support this marvelous institution that You alone have created. I rejoice in the gift of marriage. In Jesus' Name.