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Order in Marriage

Words of Faith Final

Order in Marriage
Words of Faith 1-18-2022
Dr. Jeffrey D. Hoy © 2022
Jeff.Hoy@faithfellowshipweb.com
Faith Fellowship Church - Melbourne, FL
www.faithfellowshipweb.com
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Genesis 2
    [24] For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
    [25] The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

      God created humans. He gave them gender and relationship so that we could have friends and families and communities. God also gave humans a very special relationship through a covenant we call marriage. It is the covenant union between one man and one woman. The marriage covenant is described here in four movements: leaving, cleaving (uniting), one flesh union, and intimacy. These are the elements and order that God designed.
      While ceremonies and blessings would come later as communities arose, everything fundamental to marriage is described right here with the uniting of the first man and woman.
       1)  LEAVING. A healthy marriage requires leaving behind the influence and allegiance of parents. Married couples continue to "honor" their parents but they no longer "obey" them as they become their own family entity. This is often symbolized in marriage ceremonies by the "giving" or presentation of the bride and a "farewell" to the parents. It does not mean that families do not continue to bless their married children. It does mean that allow married children to make their own way and deliberate the decisions of life without interference. The failure to "leave" the influence of one set of parents or the other is often a source of great difficulty and friction in marriage. Even if families continue to live in the same home as is common in the Middle East, it is important that a married couple become their own entity. Leaving became a two-stage process involving betrothal (blessed by the parents) and the actual marriage.
        2) UNITING. "Cleaving" is the old word for "uniting." This is the wedding. A man and woman who leave the care and authority of parents are then "united" to one another. The word in Hebrew means to "cling to." In marriage ceremonies we use words like "forsaking all others" and "take as your husband or wife." Uniting expresses the strength of covenant. It is a public declaration before witnesses of united life together. This "wedding" or uniting of a man and woman in the covenant of marriage became a time of great community celebration. Such celebrations in Biblical times often went on for a long as a week. It was this public act of commitment that became the official record of marriage in the memory of the village or town.
       3) ONE FLESH. The "one flesh union" is the sexual consummation of the marriage. In Jewish tradition a woman was never alone with a man other than her father until after she was married. To this day traditional Jewish marriages include a few moments just after the ceremony in which the bride and groom sit in a room alone together for the first time. All ancient covenants were sealed with blood sacrifice. The first sexual union of a man and woman came to be seen as the sealing of the marriage covenant with the shedding of blood common in the first sexual encounter.
       4)  INTIMACY. "The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame." In the creation, yet unstained by human sin, God intended husband and wife to be a spiritual and functional unity that completed each other. God created marriage as a place of "no shame", a haven or harbor in which there could be no barriers.
        The goal in marriage is intimacy, not sex. Sexual expression is just one part of intimacy. The one flesh union within the intimacy of marriage is "heavenly" in the sense that a man and woman experience the completing of the image and likeness of God. Marriage is intended to be a place where the husband and wife are unclothed physically, spiritually and emotionally without shame. It is interesting that intimacy follows "one flesh" union. It is the last and highest blessing in human relationship. It may not be found on the wedding night. It may come after some time as the two learn to love and let down their guard without shame. It is also not a point of arrival as much as it is a growing grace that is experienced over a lifetime.
         This is the order of things as God created them. Variation from the order falls short of the intention of God and therefore is sin. When we deviate from this order we experience consequences that vary from frustration to disaster. For example, when we become intimate emotionally or spiritually before leaving or cleaving, we create heartache and pain. Or when a couple becomes "one flesh" before covenants are made, there can be enormous heartache.
         Fortunately, the Lord provided a covering for our sin in Jesus Christ. Paul declared that "if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come" (2 Corinthians 5:17)! In our human frailty, we sometimes get things out of order but the Lord can make us new. He can give us a fresh start. He can re-order our lives. We may still struggle with some of the consequences of our disordered choices but God redeems us and walks with us.
        Where are you today? Is your life in "order"? Perhaps you are a teen with life ahead. This is a wonderful time to commit to God's order in life. Have you made some missteps-- moved in without marriage, or married without leaving the influence of parents? Have you interfered in the marriage of your children? It is not too late to re-order your life. Ask the Lord what He would have you to do according to His Word. Confess-- agree with God regarding your sin-- and repent; change the direction of your life.

             Lord God, I rejoice in the wonder of Your creation. I am in awe of Your design for my life. Forgive me for my missteps. Forgive me for my disorder. I desire to walk in the newness of life that is found only in Christ. Guide my steps as I seek to walk after Your ways. In Jesus' name.

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© Jeffrey D. Hoy 2022
Dr. Jeffrey D. Hoy - Faith Fellowship Church (EFCA)        
2820 Business Center Blvd.
Melbourne, Florida 32940 (321)-259-7200
Jeff.Hoy@faithfellowshipweb.com
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The Words of Faith devotion is published five days a week by E-mail, excluding Federal holidays. Please feel free to forward this devotion to a friend who might be blessed by this devotion. Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture is quoted from the New International Version (R) of The Holy Bible. Copyright (c) 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved. Words of Faith (c) 1997, 2022 Jeffrey D. Hoy. All rights reserved. Permission is granted to forward this copyrighted material or use portions of it with appropriate notation of the source for non-profit purposes.