How to Instruct a Kid
How to Instruct a Kid
Words of Faith 4-26-2021
Dr. Jeffrey D. Hoy © 2021
Jeff.Hoy@faithfellowshipweb.com
Faith Fellowship Church - Melbourne, FL
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Ephesians 6
[4] Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Training is the ongoing "nurture or tutorage" that provided an environment in which a child can grow and learn. Instruction involved correction. Instruction is calling attention to dangers by mild rebuke or warning. Instruction involves discipline as a situational response. Instruction responds to the normal testing of boundaries. It is through instruction that consequences are learned, and the parameters of behavior in life are discovered.
So how does one correct without exasperation? Discipline and correction are vital to raising a child in the way he or she should go, but the whole process can be exasperating. Here are 7 ways to instruct or discipline without exasperation.
- Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.
- Give careful, reasoned warning with consequences spelled out.
- When giving discipline-- explain how they chose this consequence.
- Be consistent and fair in both discipline and blessing.
- Do not discipline in anger.
- Make grace available when there are confession and repentance.
- Admit when you are wrong and ask forgiveness.
I asked my grown children what things seemed to make the most difference in raising them in the way they should go. My grown children are not perfect, but they all love the Lord and work in some form of ministry. Here is what I heard:
It is very important to teach a child that their opinion matters. The way the child did something is good-- and doesn’t have to be fixed. Create safety so that your child can tell you anything and does not have to lie. Help them understand that "fair" does not mean the "same."
"Show respect as you love and cherish us." "Make us want to come home and be home." "Assure us we can tell you anything-- and you will be the first to hear about a failure and help us move forward." "Be a friend but keep authority--you can be an authority without being authoritarian." "Expect the best of us." "Avoid rules that have no reason."
Father God, help me to parent in a way that will honor You and help my children the most to grow in You. Help me to nurture children entrusted to my care. Help me to be an example in the larger Body of Christ. Help me to encourage the parents raising children so that they may feel supported and confident in their role as parents. In Jesus’ Name.
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